5 Learnings From An Unexpected Rupture
Breaking up is a painful experience especially if the flame of love continues to be kindled in some of the people involved in the relationship. Almost anything that is imbued with love involves part of joy, but part of suffering. They are two sides of the same coin. An inseparable unity which, when we don’t know how to manage it, can shatter us inside.
However, there are people who are able to eliminate the irrational beliefs about love, relationships and emotional bonds that culture has gradually instilled in us. For them, love should not cause suffering. In fact, Buddha said that ignorance is the root of all psychological suffering.
Likewise, an inconsiderate number of thinkers and spiritual teachers have researched and reflected on the importance of thinking correctly in order not to feel bad and the implication of this in relationship patterns. Are we ignorant in love? Maybe yes, but we can’t confirm that for sure. What is clear is that we need to learn how to better deal with things related to love and relationships. Let’s dig deeper.
To suffer for love
We suffer too much for love, and that’s the truth. Even those who boast of being perfectly associated with their partner hide at the bottom of them phases of doubts, insecurity. They hide anticipated fears about their emotional future.
Who hasn’t suffered once from being with the wrong person, feeling a decrease in desire, or having to face an unexpected breakup? There is nothing more hypersensitive than love. There is nothing more delightful and more vital. Moreover, some think that renouncing love amounts to living less or no longer living.
Thus, when an unexpected rupture occurs, our life projects are scattered in a distant horizon. We feel we are dying. Desperation and disbelief take over us. We remain perplexed, motionless. The feeling of emptiness is devastating.
Should we rationalize love?
Some argue that love is not meant to be “understood” but rather to be felt and enjoyed. Romanticism does not suppose any kind of logic. On the other hand, it would seem that there is nothing more wrong. The sentimental attitude, in addition to being ingenious, is dangerous.
One of the main causes of “love sickness” is the result of the irrational and unrealistic beliefs we have developed about affection. One of the main sources of emotional suffering is misconceptions about love.
Should we therefore rationalize love? This is necessary so as not to poison us. We must not only taste love, we must also incorporate it into our system of beliefs and values. It must be ordered and regulated to make it friendly and close to neurons. You have to teach it to fly instead of cutting off its wings.
Learning from an unexpected break
If we “understand” love and its logic, we can also “understand” disenchantment. The latter can appear for different reasons. If we see the wolf approaching, we will be better prepared to face the breakup. But what happens when the breakup is unexpected?
It may be one of the most heartbreaking experiences in a person’s life. However, we learn from everything. From an unexpected break, we can obtain learning that will make us grow. Some of them are as follows.
Nothing lasts forever
This is how. The law of life. Everything that has a beginning also has an end. Some things end before, others then, but all eventually end. Couples can break up for lack of desire because they have divergent goals or because of communication issues. There are couples who last a lifetime, that’s for sure. But when one of the members dies, the romance also ends. It’s inevitable.
We can’t control everything
There are people who live their lives controlling everything that happens around their partner. They think that if they are on the alert they will be able to avoid a possible rupture. There is nothing further from the truth. There are things that we cannot change even if we want to with all our might. If our partner wants to leave us, he will, no matter what we do.
We can live without a partner
Living without a partner is another option, as is living with it. Both options are valid and they have their advantages and disadvantages. We all know the benefits of living as a couple. Living without a partner means giving up love.
Life is unpredictable (or at least less predictable than one might imagine)
This idea is very much related to the perception of control. When we suffer from an unexpected breakup, we realize that life is unpredictable. We can have future plans, and we have to accomplish them, but we also have to leave room for improvisation and the unexpected.
Nothing is as terrible as what we imagine
It is good to learn to put things in perspective. Is Suffering From An Unexpected Breakup Terrible? How many terrible things can happen to us? The fact that our partner is breaking up is not something terrible. What is terrible is to suffer from an incurable disease, a world war, the tragic and accidental death of the people we love.
We can imagine that if our partner abandons us, our life will no longer have meaning, that we will no longer be able to move forward, that we will drown in a bottomless lake. This may be the case at first. But little by little, the situation will normalize and we will rise to the surface. For sure.
Our thoughts Breaking up is one of the most difficult times in life, which often leaves us helpless. How then to avoid feeling a feeling of …
