Social Chameleons: People Who Change According To Circumstances
Social chameleons are champions when it comes to making a good impression. For this, they do not hesitate to practice this type of emotional commercialism through which they conceal their own feelings, thoughts and opinions in order to be accepted and have the approval of others. It is a type of practice that causes side effects in terms of personal dignity.
It is very likely that many of our readers will remember a curious Woody Allen movie called “Zelig”. In the latter, the protagonist exhibits a strange supernatural skill: he is able to completely change his appearance to suit whatever environment he finds himself in. Finally, a young psychoanalyst notices Leonard Zelig’s real problem, namely his extreme insecurity which pushes him to camouflage himself among people in order to feel accepted and integrated.
This is definitely an extreme case, a fun audiovisual reflection Allen brought to the screen to tell us about psychology, identity issues, and our society. However, there is one fact that we cannot deny: we are all, in a way, social chameleons.
Showing ourselves as we are, without the slightest crack and with total transparency is not always easy. We are afraid of “what will say”, of disappointing people, of attracting attention or not being what others expect of us. Living in society forces us to fit into a mold, we all know that. However, it’s important to remember that the key is learning to be people, not characters. Being a person supposes knowing how to respect others with their nuances, their opinions, their qualities and their oddities. It also means being able to practice this honesty without diluting our identity and our values in order to be accepted.
Social chameleons and the psychological price
Mark Snyder, a renowned social psychologist at the University of Minnesotta, is an expert on a study: the universal need to be socially accepted. One interesting aspect that he reveals to us in the first place is that social chameleons are extremely unhappy people. Think about them for a moment, imagine someone who forces himself to be like everyone around him, day in and day out.
To achieve this , this person will have to get used to thinking and feeling one thing and doing just the opposite, to living in constant contradiction, to oscillating between the private face and the public mask, to laughing when he does not have one. desire, to lie compulsively … This almost addictive behavior which pushes to continually cause a good impression rarely allows to establish lasting and satisfying relationships. What is more, it very often leads to feel a real psychological exhaustion.
We cannot forget that, in order to “imitate”, the social chameleon must be attentive to the social codes of each context. He must observe, read implicit and explicit languages, imitate but, above all, he must demonstrate an extraordinary plasticity, which will allow him to be very convincing.
Being the right person at all times requires being in tune with how others are reacting; it is for this reason that chameleons control their social life at all times, adjusting it to obtain the desired effects. As we can deduce, the wear and tear that this implies, in the short and long term, is immense.
Social chameleons or social zebras, the choice is yours
There are professions in which, whether we like it or not, we need these types of chameleonic skills to create impact, seduce, capture clients, generate trust and even, why not, manipulate. Thus, works like politics, law, the world of marketing and advertising, the theater or diplomacy need these psychological jugglings where imitation is synonymous with survival and even triumph.
As we pointed out at the very beginning, we have all been forced in some way to act like social chameleons at some point in our lives. However, experts on this topic, like Dr. Mark Snyder, tell us that if we are to have true emotional health, wisdom and balance, we should learn to be “social zebras”.
No matter where a zebra is, no matter what is next to it, it will always be equal to itself, its stripes will never change. This presupposes, of course, being easy prey for predators and, as we know, there is no shortage of these in our social contexts. Therefore, it is possible that our “stripes” do not please, that our skin, our style, our character and our tone of voice will not be to the liking of everyone but the people who will be captivated by our authenticity and our curious. nuances will be our best allies.
To conclude, few things can be as fruitless and exhausting as pleasing everyone, being that piece that can fit into every puzzle or that nut that goes for all gears. Such a skill is neither possible nor healthy. Let’s learn to live without masks, to be coherent and courageous, to be unique and exceptional creatures with each of our “stripes” or with our fabulous coats…
Our thoughts We spend our time looking for happiness, changing things to be able to achieve it. But what if he was already there, in front of our eyes?
