Genuine People Speak Without Fear

Genuine people speak without fear. They say what they think and act accordingly. But for that to happen, they need to know how, when, to whom and why to tell it their own way. They must dominate the spaces and the tone of their voice. Ultimately, they must have what are called “social skills”.

Social skills are much more than the expression of opinions. Social skills are used to interact and relate to others in an effective and satisfying way. They represent our way of revealing ourselves to the world, they are our identity card. They show our essence as human beings.

In addition, the lack of social skills can be a central deficit or be the basis of many psychological disorders. It is for this reason that they are important if we are to be genuine people. They are also essential for our psychological well-being and for the relationship with those around us.

The time and place say more about the person than what they themselves want to say.

Genuine people know how to listen

Genuine people think before they speak and listen to their interlocutor carefully. They empathize with each other when they are in a conversation. They understand that two people have no reason to share an opinion but that we all have the right to be listened to with the same respect.

Our biggest communication problem is that we don’t listen to understand: we listen to answer. Even though, very often, we don’t even make the effort to listen to others.

Knowing how to listen is an art and a skill that can be learned. Knowing how to listen implies, in addition to paying attention to the person and responding to what they tell you, respecting the other’s words and not interrupting them, in addition to maintaining an adequate body posture. Here are some keys to be a good interlocutor:

• Maintain open body language: Maintain eye contact with the other person and relax your facial expression. Nod once in a while so she knows you’re listening. Do not cross your arms or legs because these small physical barriers can slow down some people who would like to approach you.
• Don’t interrupt the conversation: You may be tempted to end the other person’s sentence to show them you understand the message or to explain why you think they are wrong, but it may sound rude to you. go. Out of politeness, we should bite our tongues until the other person finishes speaking.

• Reinforce the dialogue: The most powerful word in a conversation is “tell me”. People feel good when you ask them relevant questions and listen carefully to their answers. This will show the transmitter that we understand what they are saying and they will empathize with us.
• Let the person speak: a dialogue is not a monologue. Get the other person on board by asking questions or suggesting topics to discuss, but never monopolize the conversation.

Genuine people don’t always please others

Genuine people don’t always please others because they know how to say yes or no when necessary. They know how to agree or disagree in all situations and feel no guilt about it. They dominate a part of the social skills that we call assertiveness.

Assertiveness is a form of communication that consists of defending your rights, expressing your opinions and suggesting things in an honest way, without falling into aggression or passivity, respecting others but above all respecting your own needs.

This is a very important skill because expressing your true feelings and standing up for your rights can be wonderfully comforting. When you say what you want, regardless of whether you are successful or not, you come to live in a more genuine and happy way.

The first step to being more assertive is to recognize how you feel and what you want to communicate. If you are sincere and understand that the other cannot read your mind, nothing you say will be wrong. But you have to respect the moment when a person speaks and remember that you are going to defend “your truth”, not the “absolute truth”: consider the fact that your point of view has the same value as that of your interlocutor.

When it comes to your tone of voice, keeping your tone right and not yelling helps to reaffirm your opinion. Keep in mind that yelling will not make you right: in fact, yelling leaves the message valuable. The same thing happens with distance: if you get too close to the person, you may appear aggressive and make communication more difficult. Respect interpersonal space.

Social skills are learned

If you want to be an authentic person and don’t dominate any of the skills discussed above, don’t worry: social skills can be learned. These are not innate skills, they are learned through observation and experience. This development occurs fundamentally during childhood: the first years of life are essential for learning these skills.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t learn them once we’re adults. There are many programs within psychology that are used to teach social skills. The majority combine direct social experiences, imitation and effort to learn them.

So, if you want to be a genuine person but don’t have or don’t have social skills, go see a psychologist and follow the steps revealed in this article. You will eventually be able to be a genuine person and speak without fear.