The Challenge Of Reliving After Trauma
Home, car or plane accidents, witnessing events that threaten our life such as hurricanes or earthquakes, rapes or kidnappings… All these situations have something in common: they can turn into lasting and disabling traumas for those who experience them. But how to relive after a trauma?
These experiences can be more or less painful depending on the personality and circumstances of each. While, for some, an event can represent a huge shock, this same event will be a superfluous fact and quickly forgotten for others. What can we do to prevent them from crippling us and to keep moving forward?
Can Traumatic Experiences Change Our Personality?
Traumatic situations can produce significant changes in people’s personalities and lives, and their effects could last for a very long time, even though a great number of years have passed since the incident. On the one hand, they require great adaptation efforts on the part of the person who suffers from them; on the other hand, they require a readjustment of their capacities, their potential and their resources so that the person can face his future challenges.
Sometimes these readjustments can lead the person to gain assertiveness or the capacity for effort and self-control. But, in other cases, they can make the person feel helpless and vulnerable, making it difficult to cope with the trauma. In addition, they can lead to strategies of confrontation which, instead of helping him, will hinder him.
One obvious case where trauma influences the personality of the victim is that of victims of gender violence. These women are constantly subjected to potentially traumatic situations: when the partner comes home, insults his partner, hits her, belittles her and humiliates her. The woman will only be able to find a little peace when her husband is away from the house.
The assaults will of course leave traces in the personality of the person. In addition to the physical injuries and by stopping only at the psychological level, these attacks can transform a person who dominated his fears into a victim of them; from a person who was sure of his decisions to someone who doubts them and fears every consequence; from an extrovert to an introvert, etc.
Let’s take another example. Having experienced a plane crash requires that each passenger face a new reality or situation, accepting or assuming the trauma underlying a possible loss of loved ones, injuries or injuries. severe and chronic.
In a way, this person will be more likely, in the months or the years which follow, to develop new fears (of flying, claustrophobia, avoidance of social events) or to be affected by an obsessive disorder. As we can see, living after trauma can be very complex.
When traumatic experiences break down, their impact diminishes
Before 6 years of age, traumatic experiences are almost indelible if they are not treated because they are fixed in the unconscious and in the subconscious. It is therefore important to have some basic notions of what to do and what not to do in such extreme situations.
In the event of emergencies or disasters, it is recommended that you do not sleep for the first six hours after the crisis. Dreams play an important role in consolidating memories, so it’s best to stay awake or busy to avoid remembering vivid or traumatic images.
Even if those affected want to rest, they should not be allowed to fall asleep, at least during this time. Do not give them sleeping pills either, but let their cycle of wakefulness and sleep take place naturally.
Personal development in the event of trauma
As we have said, one person’s response to a traumatic event may differ from another. It is therefore crucial that specialists understand that the symptoms are multiple, acceptable in their own way and that each case must be treated in an individual and specific way.
In the first place, to relive after a trauma, it is advisable that the person maintains his daily routine, that he does not change his habits overnight by trying to avoid the situation experienced. She must not escape places or people that remind her of the trauma but must treat her discomfort with a professional.
The first step for this is to recognize that we cannot control everything that is happening around us. In addition, it is advisable not to expose yourself to more stressful moments or facts and to try to reduce the discomfort by participating in playful activities, resting or resolving conflicts calmly.
Emotional disclosure is a very important part of the process
Finally, and this is a very important aspect, you have to rely on the people you love. It will always be positive to express your emotions, to let out what hurts us, to verbalize it, to put a name and a first name. Tell yourself that facing something is easier when we know what it really is. It is also easier for others to help us when they know it themselves. We are not only talking about the emotions or the object that causes them, but also the thread that unites the two entities.
It may sound too simple, but through a simple story a person can regain much of the security that they have lost. Especially if this story is accepted and understood as logical by others.
Relief comes when we tell or write a secret. They are tools of self-knowledge and self-therapy that positively contribute to overcoming trauma and reliving. In fact, not integrating negative or disruptive traumatic events into our personal history can lead to very serious problems in the form of dissociations.
Post-traumatic stress
After a traumatic event, it is possible that the person who experienced it feels extremely conditioned by it: most of their inner world and part of their outer world are contaminated by this fact. On the other hand, if the problems get worse, it is possible that there is a disorder stemming from post-traumatic stress disorder, a massive case of acute stress whose effects can last for years or even a lifetime.
It is common for people to relive the situation that caused the trauma in the form of flashbacks. It is also common for them to have sleep problems or to have the feeling that they have fallen into a kind of emotional insensitivity. Whether these symptoms become chronic will depend on the intensity and / or severity of the occurrence. Let’s also not forget that stress works addictively; in other words, any stressful event that occurs after the trauma will add further anxiety to that caused by the trauma, by its memory or by the limitations it produces.
Tell yourself that no one is immune to a traumatic, unexpected and uncontrollable situation. In all cases, the most advisable will be to consult a professional. This will give us indications to get better and will place in our hands the tools that will help us the most to relive after a trauma.
Our thoughts We know that people who have been exposed to situations in which they felt very unsafe suffer from PTSD.
