How To Help A Child Who Feels Like He Is Failing?
Most parents want their children to be happy, find their own way, and thrive. This does not always happen. It may happen that the child feels that he is failing and that he is not able to meet his parents’ expectations. Usually, this feeling of failure arises very early on and can totally confuse parents.
A child who feels that he is failing elicits various reactions from the parents, but almost always anguish and guilt. These feelings translate into behaviors ranging from denial of the problem to significant changes in the family. When the situation is addressed correctly and on time, it’s usually a great opportunity to fix what’s wrong. Otherwise, it could become the seed for more serious problems.
Added to the above is the fact that very often parents do not detect this feeling of failure. Thus, faced with the lack of identification, no intervention takes place. In other cases, parents realize that the feeling of failure exists, but it is too late. The intervention then becomes even more complicated.
How does a child behave when he feels he is failing?
It is in some cases relatively simple to realize that a child feels that he is failing. He verbalizes it himself and asks for help, because he feels he is not progressing. However, this feeling of failure also sometimes goes unnoticed, or parents refuse to acknowledge it.
Thus, it is common for the feeling of defeat to manifest itself indirectly : through conflicting relationships with others, unruly or unusual behavior. On the other hand, remember that children tend to show their sadness or discomfort through anger.
Sometimes a child who feels unsuccessful grows up in a house where that feeling was already present, so all he had to do was internalize it. In fact, his parents or guardians may have felt this too. This is precisely one of the reasons why the adult environment may deny the problem: recognizing it and reflecting on its causes and consequences can result in an exercise in introspection and self-analysis which, well. that in most cases positive and effective, can also cost.
Failure analysis
In reality, failure is not a state, but an attitude. A person who fails is a person who feels defeated and thinks that there is nothing they can do about it. We are therefore not born with this feeling of failure, we internalize it through our lived experiences and the style of education received. It is normal that the child sometimes feels defeated, because his immaturity can prevent him from weighing objectively his mistakes. The problem arises when it becomes a habitual state.
If the child feels like he is failing, there is a good chance that something is missing from his education. For example, maybe he is not receiving enough emotional stimuli and is not being supported enough. This is why he is wary of what he is capable of doing and fails to remedy any mistakes he might make.
A child who has academic or behavioral problems in school needs to be helped first, not punished. His difficulties can be a sign of fragility or confusion. In this case, and in many other cases, it would be necessary to understand the child, to offer him proximity and support.
The child needs attention, control and love. While a psychologist can also help resolve the situation, an important part needs to be addressed and resolved directly by parents.
It is important that parents assess their successes and failures as trainers. They need to educate themselves on the best way to approach the situation. If the difficulty is detected early, it will be much easier to resolve it quickly and without leaving any traces that could affect the growth of the child.
Our thoughts Children’s fears, whether or not generated by their parents, must at least be managed by them to keep them under control.
