Family Reunions: 5 Tips To Face Them Successfully

When the end of the year draws closer, it means a corporate dinner, family reunion, and meal with friends. In principle, nothing should go wrong during family reunions, but like all families there are unresolved conflicts that identify Christmas as a good time to resurface. Either way, Christmas is a complicated time for most adults: if you are, don’t think that you are a “freak”.

It is important to stress the fact that conflicts are part of family life and that it is sometimes normal to disagree with the behavior of “some of our own”. The danger arises when this conflict does not resolve itself and gives rise to negative emotions which conserve and nourish themselves by exploding during the New Year’s Eve dinner or the Christmas dinner. Do you identify with this situation? If the answer is yes, we want to help you prevent the above circumstances from taking over at dinner or meal time, spoiling the party.

For this reason, in this article we have put together five tips for facing family reunions successfully. The idea is that with the help of these small strategies, you are able to be by the side of the loved ones with whom you have had or have problems and even be able to enjoy and participate in the festive atmosphere. These tips are designed so that you can memorize them and use them as a contingency plan in the event that some “tension” arises during the meeting or when you “feel” the conflict.

5 tips for successfully facing family reunions during the holidays

1. Avoid giving in to provocations, if you have to bring up a subject now is not the right time

When we have unresolved issues with someone, it’s tempting to use the first opportunity available so that we can talk and put an end to the concern. Therefore, when we are in the company of people with whom we have concerns, without realizing it we can provoke as well as be provoked.

In fact, it is important to detect provocations as early as possible. The objective will be to redirect the conversation to a subject that is not confrontational so as to dissipate the tension. Family reunions at Christmas are certainly not a good time to bring up sensitive topics.

2. Focus on those who are happy to see the family together, do it for them

In many families, there are people like a mother, father, or grandparent who are very happy when they see their whole family together. The rest of the members attend family reunions in part motivated by fulfilling the desire of that person for whom the reunion matters so much. So , if in your case it is difficult to find the motivation for meetings with certain family members; focus on the ability of your gesture to make someone else you love happy.

3. Educate yourself and be honest with yourself: What is really bothering you? Is there a solution ?

When someone’s company bothers us, we need to know what’s really going on. Can what bothers us be changed? Is it a characteristic of the other that we share that bothers us? Answering these questions is fundamental in order to be able to manage the emotions that arise in the face of a conflict. Thus, if a characteristic of our loved one bothers us sometimes and is not going to change, then we should raise our level of tolerance or avoid sharing with them the circumstances in which they manifest the circumstance in question.

Either way, a Christmas family reunion isn’t the best time to initiate change in someone. In fact, our intentions must be better and we must want the good of our loved ones. Now is not the best time to tell someone that they may be smoking too much or that they should eat more. We have all year to do it, so do not take advantage of these meetings to make comments that could hurt, even if basically they are not offensive.

4. Talk to yourself and ask yourself the following question: “Is it worth having a conflict during the meeting?”

Whenever you get angry, try to take a few minutes to talk to yourself and think about whether or not it is really worth starting an argument at some point. When we say “talk to yourself” we mean using self-instruction (instructions we give ourselves personally) in your favor.

In other words, the words we say to ourselves work like commands to the brain. In fact, if the orders you give yourself are synonymous with calm and serenity, it will be easier for you to endure family reunions and successfully overcome them.

5. Avoid reaching limits and get out before it’s too late.

Ignorance is not always a negative confrontation strategy. In fact, it is the best strategy when we have to face complicated situations and it is neither the time nor the place. Plus, being ignorant is the best thing you can do when you know ahead of time that you are going to get angry, lose control, and have other people have a bad time. Wanting to control your anger when you run out of patience is not a realistic goal.

On the other hand, it is necessary to know how to put limits on your family relationships when Christmas arrives. Each family follows a functioning model, you can have a family with an independent model or with a grouped model. If your family has an independent role model, the boundaries between the lives of each member are demarcated and respected. In this case, when the family reunions come the work is already done.

On the other hand, if you have a family with a grouped model, the limits between the lives of each member are not well defined and are not respected. So, it would be a good idea to set boundaries before meetings to avoid chaos. Because family reunions are neither the right time to explain your personal needs, nor the right time to maintain a barrier in front of those who are used to meddling in the most intimate aspects of your life.

In any case, it is always good to put limits in family gatherings and to be clear about what we want to share and what we want to keep to ourselves and also when we want advice and when we do. we don’t need it. Remember that you have the right to make your own decisions even when you feel they are going against the thoughts of much of your family.

Finally, take advantage of these holidays to take advantage of the positive aspects of family reunions and focus your attention on them. Above all, remember to have patience and that not getting into conflict can allow a good initiative not to turn into something unpleasant for those who participate in it. In fact, your attitude during this time can have a big impact on the well-being of other people.

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