The Fears That Make Us Invisible
When we were children, we had few fears and shame, let alone worry. We had confidence in ourselves and in our abilities; therefore, we were shining. However, as we grew older our self-confidence diminished, to the point where we came to wanting to become invisible.
The desire to be invisible stems from all of those social and cultural beliefs that we have acquired and integrated that have become stronger as we have grown up. As we well know, beliefs limit us; for example, if we think that making a mistake during an oral presentation is a failure and we do so, probably from that point on we will no longer like public speaking, or even we will think that are the worst speakers possible.
Some of the beliefs we hold only promote our fears. Our fear of being alone, the fear that no one loves us, the fear that we are not trusted. Our fear of not having the perfect family, of not getting the best grades, of disappointing others or falling short. Our fears drive us to be invisible as we identify with certain labels that have nothing to do with us.
We live in a society that constantly belittles us, which prompts us to compare ourselves to others and analyze our flaws in great detail. Where are our qualities? In the dark. They wait to be looked at to be brought to light and thus be aware of our full potential.
Now, where do all these fears that invite us to be invisible begin to be set in motion? Usually within the family, namely in the context where we have spent most of our time and which, for the most part, has become our comfort zone.
However, when we are the exception and our behavior is different from what we expect, this assurance disappears and sometimes, fears invade us. For example, in a family where physical labor is highly regarded, if suddenly a member devotes herself to art or computer programming, he or she will probably hear: “This is not real work.”
Misunderstanding on the part of those we considered a source of support threatens our self-confidence and in some cases, our way of valuing ourselves.
Insurance is found by being faithful to family beliefs. Follow in the footsteps of our parents, work in the same branch as them … However, when we take a different path from this one, the feeling of protection is broken to give rise to fear and the desire to be invisible sometimes.
Family is not the only one that can make us want to be invisible, to be like others, and not to stand out. There are many other fears that grow and strengthen due to certain beliefs related to the social realm. Let’s see what these 3 fears are that keep us from shining a light on who we really are deep down.
We all have something unique, a special ability, or a natural gift that enables us to do things for which we would like to be recognized. However, let’s not forget that standing out means exposing ourselves to the possible jealousy of others. Finally, we will have to face the criticisms, judgments and other rejections on their part.
For some, based on their past experiences, this can be unbearable, since they tend to seek approval from others. The desire to shine, but also the fear to do so, pushes us to find ourselves faced with two options: to shine and reveal our essence, or to be invisible while remaining faithful to the expectations of others.
The fear of being alone is a fear that affects many people. This is a belief that prompts us to adapt to what others approve of in order to be accepted. For example, if you are a very joking person, but your friends around you are ashamed of your jokes and your behavior, you will try to change and repress that part of you so that you do not find yourself alone.
Ultimately, we choose to be invisible so that others will accept us. However, we would tend to ask ourselves the following thing: Is it worth hanging out with people who don’t accept who we are in essence? Being alone is like stepping out of our comfort zone. This is why we are so afraid of no longer having friends, partners, in short; to find someone who truly accepts us for who we are.
Now, if we change, if we blur our essence, there will come a time when we will wonder who we really are. When we choose to respect the expectations of others, we betray ourselves, we reject our self, which over time will generate great discomfort.
Finding each other will be a process that invites us to face whatever we really fear. A complex but satisfying path when you reach your goal, because there is nothing more beautiful than an encounter with yourself.
If in our childhood our family told us that “we didn’t deserve anything we got,” we probably grew up thinking and acting in accordance with this idea. Therefore, not only will we think that we are not deserving of any gift, but also that we are not worthy of anyone’s affection. We then adopted an identity based on “non-merit”.
Oddly enough, we are afraid of losing what we have been told we are ; this identity that in reality we do not identify with, even though we have learned to do so. This is the reason why it is so difficult for us to move forward sometimes. We built a world according to what others thought we were, what they told us we were. So that without realizing it and without really wanting to do it, we run away from the slightest sign of affection.
This is why it is important to unlearn, to search within and to find out who we really are. Because often, we do not think for a single second to question the opinions of others about ourselves, and then choose to remain faithful to them, therefore to be invisible.
Perhaps we have chosen to be invisible until now, but we can decide to stop being invisible starting today. To shed the labels that have been imposed on us, fears that do nothing more than limit us, and find in us the best company.
Our thoughts Confronting our fears, as frightening as it may sound, is the key to good personal growth and will lead us on the path to happiness …
