The Best Way To Fight Stagnation

Feeling stagnant is a very unpleasant feeling. Imagine that we are at a crossroads and that we have three paths in front of us. Although we have more than one option and know, more or less, what our preferred option is, we don’t budge. Days, weeks, months and even years go by. For some reason, we have failed to fight the stagnation that limits us so much.

This is something that many people – if not all – have experienced at some point in their lives. Some, even more than once. This feeling tends to appear when we don’t have goals or goals. The days are all the same, gray, and that can make us feel very angry. We get stuck and continue in the same place because we don’t know how to get out of this situation.

The feeling of swimming in the mud

Psychologist Judith Duque Camargo, in her article Carl Rogers, theoretical-practical reflections , collects some testimonies from her patients who feel stagnant. One of them, Jorge, said: “ Before, I had certainties (…) today, I only move my body mechanically. My world has become the size of my environment ” . Another patient who did not want to give her name said: “ I gave everything to my husband, including children I did not want but accepted. And now I feel lonely, my life has no meaning, I am old, my opportunities are over… “.

Looks like they’re all swimming in a pool full of mud in which no matter how hard they think about different options, they can’t see an exit. This is what happens when you feel stuck. We can’t see past it, it’s like we have lost all hope. Sometimes it has to do with certain beliefs that we carry on our shoulders or with certain fears that prevent us from taking the first step.

When work doesn’t fill us up or we don’t do what we want (travel, learn a language, change residences, become independent), it’s our fears and insecurities that can lead us to think that ‘it ‘ is all the world has to offer us ”. However, the boredom and weariness of days that pass without our being able to enjoy them as we would like can take a heavy toll on us.

Some ways to fight stagnation

If we think we are stagnant and have been doing so for a long time – usually 6 months is taken as a benchmark – it is important that we seek professional help. However, there are a few ways to deal with it if the stagnation appears on a one-off basis.

• Take a deep breath : we may not have stopped or given permission to set aside time for ourselves and really think about what we want. If we don’t, it will be very difficult to make a decision, always remaining in doubt as we feel we are consumed.
• Remember the push : there was a reason we were making certain decisions. But, the routine, the lack of motivation and a lot of the habits that we have acquired made us forget it. Let us remember the reason for our cravings. If it no longer motivates us enough, if we have changed, it may be time to choose another path.

• Seek inspiration : we can reach out to people who inspire us, read books, watch documentaries, or get involved in new activities. Inspiration must be sought: it is one of the keys to the fight against stagnation.

A visualization exercise

There is a visualization exercise that some professionals use in their consultations that is essential in combating stagnation. This lets us know where we want to go, which allows us to identify the steps to take. The way to do this exercise is as follows.

Let’s start by relaxing, taking a deep breath, and closing our eyes. After that, we will visualize ourselves in front of a door that we are going to open. Behind her we will meet our future “me” and we have to look at her age. Maybe 60, 70 or 90 years old. Each person will be different.

If we visualized ourselves at 70 and today we are 25, we will begin to walk through all ages. We will first visualize ourselves at 30 and we will continue from ten by ten until we reach 70.

In each of these stages of our life, we will ask ourselves what we do, where we live, what we work for, if we have children or if we are traveling. We will also examine if we have a partner, what are our friendships and the relationship with our family. The exercise will end with the visualization of how we embrace our 70-year-old selves.

This exercise does not set a precedent, but it will give us an idea of ​​what we want to do. For example, if we imagine ourselves traveling to different places or working in a company in a sector in which we have not yet been trained, it will allow us to make some decisions now. Maybe sign up for training courses on what we’d like to do or save for our next trip.

Take action to fight stagnation

Despite all that we can do to fight stagnation, the important thing is to act. We cannot stay in our mind, in a sea of ​​doubts, without walking on the coast. We need to start taking action, so much the better if it’s small, to get closer to all of our goals.

Stagnation often leads us to postpone classes, studies and even miss out on valuable opportunities. But that can all change. Confronting the fears and starting to change the little things with the help of a professional will allow us to feel that we are moving forward and leaving this area that we have immersed ourselves in and which is so overwhelming.

Our thoughts