Sometimes It Is When The Opportunities Are Exhausted That The Best Possible Option Appears

They say that there are trains that only pass once in a lifetime, but… How not to miss them if we are encouraged to get off at every stop that we see? Many people strive to acquire an education and then seek and find a job that relates to what they like but, despite everything, end up focusing their attention on what they lack, feeling perpetual dissatisfaction and repeating to themselves that ‘they could have had something much better.

They find themselves in the midst of the eternal dilemma of choosing to fight for the life they want, but they forget that people rarely find a perfect way to achieve it. The endless complaint is then repeated: “it’s not for me”, “it’s not what I dreamed of”. These people start their day quicker and carry a huge load of mental frustration.

The philosopher José Ortega y Gasset warns us about the catastrophe of specialization in his book The Rebellion of the Masses . Men and women highly qualified in a concrete field but unable to acquire a general vision of the world which helps them to manage in their own reality, and not that which they would like.

This is what happens to these people, and it is also what happens to us. How many times have we been crippled by having so many opportunities in front of us, because of this fear of having to make sacrifices? It is true that sometimes you have to place yourself at a specific point, firmly grasp the only opportunity that presents itself and avoid potential options. In today’s world, sometimes it’s when opportunities run out that the best option arises: to live life as it comes.

The difference between acceptance and resignation

A question appears on the horizon that we are drawing:  what is the difference between accepting and resigning yourself? Basically, these terms are as incompatible as water and oil, but we insist on shaking them and mixing them. Acceptance is the first step towards change. It means locating where we are on a map, whether we like it or not.

Acceptance is also the first step towards adaptation, if there is no possibility of change. It comes down to integrating into our history what we are so resistant to. For example, for someone who has had an accident and lost a leg, acceptance means taking a huge step towards rehabilitation and making the changes that are going to need to be made in their life. It also means making great efforts to integrate what has just happened to him into his story.

Resignation, however, contains frustration and a fair amount of inability beyond acceptance. This frustration is important because it often degenerates into immobility or insistence that is much more sporadic than before, through means and solutions that are always similar.

So, sometimes we face thousands of opportunities to get out of a bad situation, but none of these alternatives seem perfect to us. Many times we can try to create it, but other times it is only when we reach the limits of suffering that  we are willing to choose among the possible options, even if none of them are ideal. . Obviously, for the person who has lost their leg, the ideal alternative would be to recover it, but unfortunately medicine does not often offer this option.

When all ideal opportunities run out, the best option arises: a change in attitude that involves upgrading an option that is arguably not perfect. Thus, any alternative recovers its dignity and at the same time gives us back our own if it takes us out of a situation of pain, routine and resignation.

If we are exhausted and demotivated on a daily basis, there will be no possible path. Every step must be taken in the here and now, little by little, taking advantage of small moments of the day. Efforts often lead to a reward; a “price” which requires that we be motivated and that we want to find a trace of what we want in our daily life.

If we lower our aspirations and follow a simpler, more honest plan, the trip might be more enjoyable. The conditions imposed by reality may not be what our imagination had expected, but that does not prevent us from feeling good.

The shadow of what does not exist should not tarnish our present

I know a lot of people who have jobs they never thought they would have and who are happy. They take advantage of their situation, accept temporary changes and ignore abusive comments about their supposed “failure”. Remarks that often come from people who don’t have the slightest aspiration and who only like to judge what others are doing.

These people who know how to savor the fruit of the opportunity they have seized are responsible people  , who take control of their lives without pretending to advance at a gallop and who take advantage of the small daily pleasures.

An automaton is not someone who works a lot but someone who works and expends too much energy cursing his situation.

The line which separates the struggle for a dignified life and the eternal criticism of what one lives is sometimes very fine. However, its finesse doesn’t stop it from being important: it does indeed reveal people who are tired of wishing for big things and who are struggling to get occasional little pleasures now, won in battle and by bustling about. There is no such thing as unworthy work, housing or relationships. There are only attitudes and actions that make them the way they are. In our desire for the ideal, everything that is conventional ends up becoming bitter if we obsess over it. 

Luckily, some have learned that the difference lies in taking your time each day to have a quiet drink of coffee or to watch the eternity that this life brings to them unfold in the present. The ideal opportunities ran out, that’s right, but they made a choice from all the options that were still there. Faced with their desires and their inability to live them, they chose to live and not to survive.