Positive Communication In The Family

Positive communication in the family is: expressing our opinion in a conscious, coherent, clear, direct and balanced way. The goal is to communicate our ideas and feelings without the intention of harming or hurting and therefore acting from an inner state where confidence reigns.

It is essential to have positive communication in the family in order to strengthen the relationships between its members. Good communication is reflected in healthy bonds, mutual respect, affection, tenderness and accompaniment, whether it is in the relationship of parents, parents with children or siblings between them.

Positive family communication is the healthiest communication

Have you ever thought you should have said something and you didn’t? You may have been very passive. Have you ever said something and felt uneasy because you thought you looked like a bully? Have you ever felt like other people couldn’t say what they thought because of your attitude? In this case, you may have been aggressive.

There are three main forms of communication:

• The passive form, where generally one of the members does not express his concerns, speaks in a very low tone, accepts without understanding what has been asked of him. This passive form assumes an unequal relationship that puts one family member at a disadvantage over another. It generates feelings of low self-esteem and in no way promotes healthy emotional bonds.

• The form or communication style of aggressive kind. It is made up of confusing messages that can include yelling and reproaching, even insults. Likewise, this type of communication emotionally alienates family members who generate rejection, fear and regret. In addition, it is a form of emotional violence which justifies the fact that it should not be used.
• Finally, we find the positive form. This is the most recommended type of communication because it involves respect, dialogue and negotiation. It helps strengthen family relationships in a context of respect and trust and it promotes healthy self-esteem in children.

Benefits of positive communication in the family

Developing positive communication as a family will have a positive impact on our emotional and mental health. In addition, it will allow us to see reality with more clarity and thus establish solid relationships with the members of our family. Also, it promotes:

• Stress reduction
• Improving your social and personal skills
• Better control of impulses and anger
• Improving your self-esteem
• The best understanding of your emotions
• Respect for yourself and others
• Improving your ability to make decisions
• The gain in personal satisfaction

Listening to answer and not to understand, a problem

Some of the keys to initiating positive family communication are:

1. Avoid comparisons

Sometimes parents tend to over-compare their children to other children in order to point out their mistakes. Rather than doing them good, this attitude can end up generating insecurity and a feeling of inferiority in the little ones. In addition, there is a risk: they can end up making a habit of comparing themselves to others on the aspects at which they are inferior.

If you don’t build your children’s self-confidence, it will be difficult for them to have positive communication in other areas in which they are engaged.

Every child, just like every person, is unique. On the other hand, the majority of comparisons are unfair or not well calibrated : we all face very special circumstances and so do children.

2. Be empathetic

Positive communication is based on respect for the other person. Before addressing our children, we need to think about what we are going to say and how we are going to do it. And this, especially when the message we want to convey is important and we want it to be understood correctly.

It is also important to instill in them empathy towards others. If the whole family tries to understand what the other is thinking or feeling, it will be easier to establish a dialogue and prevent arguments from damaging trust.

3. Ask for opinions

An authoritarian education limits positive communication because when parents are in charge, children only obey. Thus, children are not allowed to express themselves vis-à-vis decisions that bind the whole family and it is a way of telling them that their opinion does not count.

Let your child speak on the topics that require their participation. They’ll open up with more confidence and know their point of view is important to you. He will know that he has the right to make arguments in order to make the best decision.

4. Express yourself

You can’t expect your kids to express their feelings and thoughts if you don’t. Explain to them how your day went, your concerns and your interests. Likewise, listen carefully to them when they tell you something. 

When you learn that they are wrong about something, give them advice instead of judging and berating them. In this way, you will fuel your children’s confidence to share their concerns.

Being understanding should not mean stopping sanctioning all situations in which the limits have been exceeded. Remember that your attitude is meant to prevent mistakes from being made multiple times. On the other hand, remember that many lessons are learned from example. You, the role model for your children, are the first person to use a positive communication style in order to teach them.

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