Why Can Lack Of Confidence Make Us Appear Selfish?
Lack of self-confidence is one of those weights that can hold us back or limit us in many areas. It can be the source of other problems, big or small.
Among them, we find the difficulty in starting or maintaining a healthy relationship with other people. We can see it, for example, in the excessive inhibition of such people or in their difficulty in expressing themselves naturally.
Even if it doesn’t seem like it, lack of self-confidence is a factor that feeds some seemingly selfish attitudes. In reality, the fact is that, since these people place little value on themselves, they tend to overestimate their vulnerability, often appearing on the defensive, believing that they are not worth the effort required. .
In many cases, therefore, they keep certain words to themselves or do not take the initiative. They think they have nothing of value to give to others and ultimately behave selfishly.
Lack of self-confidence and solidarity
It is very common for someone who is unsure of themselves to think right away that their help is not needed or relevant to others. This happens in both small and large situations.
It is usual, for example, that when volunteers are needed for something, these people do not jump in. It is a spiral that only feeds back.
Lack of self-confidence leads to hermetism and hermeticism to lack of confidence. By positioning themselves in this way, the person reinforces the feeling of incompetence or inadequacy.
It is always good to ask ourselves if there is something we can do for others in problematic situations. If something can be helped, it is best to offer that help. When for some reason that help is rejected, we have done what we can: express our willingness to cooperate.
Error management
It is also common for a person who lacks self-confidence to refrain from sharing or opening up to others for fear of making a mistake. Her level of self-criticism is high and she is not able to position herself intelligently in the face of error.
So if someone says to him: “Do you want to participate in this project? She may, for example, feel very fearful. Fear pushes insecurities to activate. Phrases pop up in the mind, like “I can’t do it” or “I’m going to disappoint them”. Interest in any participation is therefore blocked.
This also happens in personal situations. For example, we want to offer something special to the other, but we have the feeling that it will be silly or that this small gesture will not make him happy. So the options of participating or giving more of oneself end up turning into threats.
Communication and self-fulfilling prophecies
Lack of self-confidence also tends to affect communication with others. We keep quiet about things we should say, as if there was nothing to say when, very often, this is far from the case. It is also possible that the opposite attitude develops: wanting to monopolize conversations, be threatening or intransigent with others.
An insecure person perceives many interactions as attacks. She therefore tends to take criticism personally.
In these situations, it wallows in silence or becomes aggressive, which prevents dialogue or turns it into a battlefield. These attitudes, again, lead to a spiral that ultimately escalates the problem. Ultimately, all of these attitudes turn into self-fulfilling prophecies.
In other words, expectations that become reality because we do everything possible to make it happen, even if we do not realize it. It is likely that many people end up rejecting or minimizing help or giving because it is done in a very anxious way.
It is also possible that a person with this personality will end up being labeled or pointed out as selfish, so others will avoid seeking their participation or help, which ends up increasing their lack of self-confidence.
The person ends up feeling like a less-than-nothing, and others, in a way, end up conceding that place (self-fulfilling prophecy). It is a complex vicious circle that you can only get out of by realizing how you are acting.
Our thoughts Emotional insecurity is a state of lack of self-confidence that can end up completely ruling our life.
