According To Science, Excessive Self-esteem Decreases Empathy
Many will not be surprised to know that excessive self-esteem decreases empathy. The first trait often brings with it cohabitation problems, conflicts and behaviors that clearly evoke a narcissistic profile. Those who live permanently with a crown on their head disconnect from others.
Self-esteem is that element which, when absent or weakened, leads to many of the most common problems. Low self-efficacy, insecurity, anxiety, and the very substrate of depression are, in many cases, closely related to low self-esteem.
If low self-esteem is a problem, so is high self-esteem. As always happens in life and in the world of mental wellness, deficiencies and lack of self-control make any balance impossible.
It is surprising how much “benefiting” from high self-concept and personal appreciation completely skews empathic competence. Let’s analyze this.
Why does excessive self-esteem decrease empathy?
It may seem surprising to us, but when experts tell us that excessive self-esteem has a potential problem, it is no accident. When we have someone who compliments himself in a disproportionate way, we have to know that he expects others to do the same.
When we are faced with a person who sees themselves as better than others, they begin to regard those around them with coldness and contempt. Relationship problems, conflicts at work, difficulties in socializing … A low self-concept and low self-esteem plunge anyone into a state of continuous vulnerability.
Nonetheless, living at the height of self-appreciation leads to aggressive behavior. According to social psychology, this is frequently noticed in the field of work.
The theory of self-checking and high self-esteem
William Swann is a professor of social and personality psychology at the University of Texas, and also author of the Self-Check Theory. What does this concept consist of? We are faced with an interesting and enlightening approach that allows us to understand why excessive self-esteem decreases empathy.
A person with an excessive level of self-esteem is constantly “self-checking”. In other words, she needs to reassert herself in everything she does, thinks, and decides. She thus reinforces the vision she has of herself.
The problem arises when she expects others to do the same. She wants and hopes that everyone around her checks and validates her self-concept, every trait, every skill, action or deliberation. Dr William Swann points out that this can be problematic in the area of organizations and business.
When we have a leader, a manager or a co-worker who absolutely wants others to strengthen his skills, it is easy to see him find himself completely disconnected from his own environment, without even knowing (or almost) the close realities … which become foreigners. Empathy is almost absent in this type of profile.
The anthropogenic narcissist: when excessive self-esteem decreases empathy
We pointed it out at the beginning: excessive self-esteem is a common characteristic in a narcissistic personality. Studies, like the one done at the University of Georgia (USA), tell us that self-esteem and self-validation have two very different portraits.
On the one hand, we have a person who, with positive self-esteem, is able to move from the inside out. That is, she has a healthy vision and perception of herself and, at the same time, she is able to see, respect and connect with the reality of the other.
On the other hand, we have a narcissistic personality that applies an “anthropic view”. Any psychological mobilization, any attentional, emotional and motivational resource is directed towards itself.
She does not empathize, she is not able to distinguish or sense the realities of others. What is more, in a good part of the cases, by not receiving the attention and the external validation which it needs, it can exhibit aggressive attitudes and behaviors and disrespectful.
Feeding excessive self-esteem: the serious consequences
Excessive self-esteem decreases empathy and this has an obvious impact on the relationship and social level. When someone is not able to understand and give visibility to the person in front of them, they end up marking a distance. And, in many cases, these figures end up in a vacuum of ostracism.
But that’s not all. Research, such as that conducted by psychologists Carol Dweck and Ellen Leggett, has revealing evidence. Excessive self-esteem is linked to a fixed mindset: in other words, these are inflexible people, not open to changes and challenges because they are afraid of being incompetent.
In addition, they do not see their failures, do not accept criticism, are immature and manage their emotions very poorly. This shows us once again that extremes – even at the level of psychological constructs – are problematic.
An overly positive assessment of oneself is not only dangerous. It is the germ of relational aggressiveness, an enemy for cohabitation and a challenge when it comes to creating respectful and productive work environments. Let’s keep this in mind.
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