Fear Of Rejection Can Be Your Worst Enemy Or Your Best Ally

One day, I felt deep inside me this immense fear of being rejected. A fear that had nothing to do with speaking in public or going to a job interview. This arose when I had to express how I felt, which was that I loved one of my best friends.

It frustrated me terribly when I was alone and needed to tell her everything that was going through my mind at breakneck speed. But deep down I  was terrified of doing it, terrified that she wouldn’t accept my point of view, that  she would get angry, that she would reject me.

“If you choose not to do something for fear of being rejected, you are rejecting yourself… and the world is ignoring you. “

-Jia Jiang-

We have all probably been aware, at one time or another, of this great fear. A fear that makes you worry about how others will see you. Very often this fear prevents us from facing people, because of this fear of “what will they think?”.

It would be great to be able to eliminate that fear, but can you imagine never feeling it again? It may have positive consequences that help us more than we realize,  and it may be necessary to experience it. Would it be possible to turn this fear of rejection into one of our best allies?

We are all afraid of being rejected

Fear of rejection can arise when we try to declare our love for the person we love. It may not let you do what you want, cause you to hold back and shut up. A situation that will eventually drive you crazy and can lead to anxiety.

But, why are we so afraid of it? If we often think  “good, I have nothing more to lose”, why don’t we go for it? Because our fear was born with us, but we also learned it and, if we have low self-confidence, it surely intensified.

From the moment we are born, we have this need to be part of a group. Of our family, of people of our age, of society… But as we grow and develop our personality, we realize that we are different and that certain attitudes are not “well regarded. ”Or“ accepted ”.

“It’s okay to give importance to the opinions of others. But if that, instead of being a complement, a different point of view, becomes the most important, the only reason, and the only truth, then you have a lot of work to do. “

This is when  you try to change to be like other people,  not to clash, and so that they don’t look askance at you. But when you do that, your self-esteem drops and you feel like you are no longer the same. It’s hard to be successful at being someone you’re not, and it’s even harder to try not to accept yourself.

Fear is your ally

According to what we just mentioned, fear is your enemy. It limits you, it paralyzes you, and prevents you from taking risks, being yourself, and doing what you want. Despite this, the fear of rejection, to a fair extent, can be positive.

• She wakes you up:  imagine that you have to speak in front of an audience and your fear of rejection arises with more force than ever. This fear has arisen to alert you to an important situation where you will be testing yourself. Use it in your favor to get out of your lethargy and give yourself a boost. Fear will motivate you to make your presentation the best you have ever given.

• It alerts you:  if fear did not appear, you would not be aware of the fact that you are not expressing your opinion for fear of what others may think, that you are not facing certain situations because that you think you will be judged… The feeling of fear can help you find the origin of what is immobilizing you right now. This will help you realize some of the problems that you have been dragging behind for a long time.
• She warns you:  fear can appear in a situation for which you do not feel ready. For example, you want to declare your love to that person who seduced you, but you might know deep down that this is a hasty gesture, that you don’t know them well enough and that there is even some things about them that you don’t like too much. Fear can alert you to think a little more.

“With fear, your body gives you material for you to take action, run away or cripple yourself. You alone decide… ”

-Pau Navarro-

Fear will not always push us towards a flight response because we can choose how to use this energy that is invading us. It can become our greatest source of motivation to face situations that we would never have dared to face. You decide whether the fear of rejection paralyzes you or pushes you forward.

What have you got to lose by trying?