Happiness Is Where You Want It
This state of pleasure brought to us by concrete situations is called happiness. Everyone wants to achieve it, to know what is the secret to obtaining it and living it as long as possible. If they could, human beings would be happy all the time, but this is nothing more than an idealization without any foundation or basis in reality. Happiness is not a concrete emotional state, it is a way of life.
There are many people who do not face many obstacles throughout their life and are happy nonetheless. Others, on the contrary, have always been privileged, have always had everything and still declare that they are not happy.
It is therefore neither the situation, nor the context, nor what we experience that determines the happiness we feel. Happiness does not arise from any success, from a spouse, a child or a house facing the beach. Being happy comes about having a strong value system, focusing on the present moment, loving yourself unconditionally and knowing how to appreciate what you have.
All the aspects that we have just enumerated go hand in hand. So, if we strive to change our philosophy of life which, in a good part of us is often “grumbling”, and that we adopt this joyful outlook on life, we will understand how to find happiness, exactly where we are. want to.
Happiness is not found, it is built
Happiness should not be sought anywhere because it is not found in any place that does not require research. That is to say, he is not there somewhere, as many want us to believe.
If it worked this way, there would be two types of people: those who have enviable lives and who are happy, and those who suffer from everything and who are unhappy. But the reality is quite different. Let’s go even further: those who have less are often happier.
We don’t like to generalize, but it’s common for people who are used to living on little to end up needing less and less. The consequence is that their attention is directed more towards small pleasures rather than fleeting gratifications.
They value things a lot more, and that’s what makes them feel more pleasure compared to people who are not able to place as much value on what they own.
This is why psychological fullness is born inside the person. It is not about believing that when we get what we think we need, then we will be happy. If you are not happy with what you have, you will hardly be happy when you get what you want.
How to become a happy person?
The first step that you must take in order to feel more happiness is precisely to not seek that happiness. When we demand happiness from ourselves and we fail to do so, we are frustrated, and frustration is precisely synonymous with unhappiness. Additionally, being obsessed with being happy fills us with anxiety and despair, and ends up being a struggle.
We won’t be able to be happy if we demand it and pressure ourselves. Happiness is a state of mental fluidity, of acceptance, of “living in the moment”.
To be happy, put aside the absolutist necessities. We need very little to be well: a little food – not too much or the pleasure will become aversion -, a little water to hydrate us, a roof to be dry, physical activity not to get sick, have a goal that encourages us to get up every morning – but without focusing on the result -, sleep, breathe and little extra.
All we think we need is what makes us miserable. This does not mean that we will not find pleasure in it, but it must be only wants, not needs.
Believing that we have to get it, no matter what it costs, makes us anxious and if we get it and lose it, since everything is fleeting in life, we fall into depression.
On the other hand, to be happier, it is important to focus on the present. Nothing exists and nothing is real except what we are feeling right now with our five senses. The mindfulness technique can teach us a lot about this.
Change your scale of values. Don’t focus so much on work, on finding a mate, on money, on success. When you are about to die, you will not remember it. What you will remember will be the experiences you had with your friends, the times with your family, the coffee you had while watching the sea or the sound of your dog’s breathing, when you read a good book.
Your priority should be love: to yourself, to life and to others. If you are able to love the simple things, the human and the small details, you will be able to be happy. Are you ready to put this into practice?
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