Honesty Saves Us Time: Honesty As A Way Of Life
Honesty saves us time and makes our relationships healthier. The proper use of honesty and integrity with oneself where one specifies what one allows and what one does not allow, what is fair and what is not, facilitates this coexistence without uncomfortable situations and in no way beneficial. But far from what one might think, it is not so easy to be sincere.
Confucius said that the person who is sincere and who always speaks the truth has already built the way to heaven. However, let’s face it, most of us have been educated to be correct under all circumstances. To maintain this attention and respect for others where we often make little lies our liferafts for fear of being rejected. Or pointed out.
We say yes to this party with our colleagues in the company… so as not to attract attention. We have friendships that have already expired emotionally years ago for fear of hurting the other person. We support our partner in certain decisions even if we know they are not the right ones. And we do it so as not to shatter the dreams of a loved one.
There are multiple situations that occur every day where we are half-lying or half-honest. This, even with good intentions, can lead to long term situations that are not at all beneficial. Being sincere (but without applying the sincerecide) should be this recurring gear in our own being in which to build a healthier reality for all.
Apply honesty to ourselves
Nothing can have as much harmony as practicing this transparent communication in which to drop the shells, the falsehoods, the fears and the condescension. There are those who boast of always being correct and respectful, when in reality they are experts in the art of hypocrisy, by pretending feelings, behaviors or ideas contrary to the real ones.
There are many who travel the world discouraged. Those who think one thing and say another, those who feel a concrete reality and end up behaving the other way around. Living in disagreement in terms of thoughts, desires, actions and communication generates great discomfort and can lead in the long run to situations of great unhappiness.
Studies, like the one conducted at the University of Southern Denmark by Dr Stephen Rosenbaum, clearly show us this. Honesty should be the norm in our society. Sincerity allows us to save costs of all kinds: emotional, relational, professional, etc. It is a principle of well-being for ourselves and for others.
Start being honest with yourself
There are inner voices that reinforce our fears (say this to your boss, your friend, your dad or they will get mad at you). There are defenses that put up real barricades that prevent us from saying and doing what we really want. All of these internal psychological universes not only prevent us from being authentic, but they also hinder our growth.
Let’s be clear, anyone who wants to be sincere with others must first be sincere with themselves. And that requires practicing a sincere and courageous internal dialogue, where we can ask ourselves what we want and what we need.
Lies or dishonesty take us captive to misfortune
Being honest saves us precious time. Avoid, for example, devoting time and effort to people, practices or dimensions that do not correspond to your desires. Or your values. If we could practice true honesty, we would gain each other’s trust. Because there is nothing more beneficial than receiving this advice or this comment from someone who, far from trying to be condescending or “to do good”, dares to speak to us from the heart.
In addition, we must take into account one aspect. The lack of sincerity leads us to use these lies which will need other major lies to maintain this house of cards. The psychological effort to avoid the collapse of so many falsehoods is immense. And soon, we realize that this practice is neither useful, nor logical, nor even less healthy.
Honesty is an act of courage with great benefits, practice it and your world will change!
Po Branson and Ashley Merryman, two psychologists who are experts in child education, point out in their book Educate Today that children lie to their parents more often than they think because of a very basic fact: they choose to resort to lying. to make their parents happy, and thus meet their expectations of them. They think that if they tell them how they really feel, they can disappoint them.
In a way, this is how this almost recurring need to not always be completely honest begins. We are afraid to disappoint. We are afraid of not being like others think we are. Fear of creating distances or losing relationships. However, we need to be clear about this. Because when we act in this way, the one we betray, in reality, is us.
Being sincere can have an impact or surprise. In the long run, however, it is worth it. Because we create healthier, happier, and more meaningful scenarios by sharing our lives with those who really matter. Let’s put it into practice.
Our thoughts Do you know the difference between white, compulsive, and pathological lies? Why do we justify one and condemn the other?
