How To Effectively Help An Anxious Person
Helping an anxious person requires tact, empathy, and intelligence. It is not enough to say “ calm down, it will pass ” or “ it’s okay , what you should do is take it differently ”. Indeed, the one who suffers from this affection is the target of a series of physical and emotional sensations preventing him from thinking clearly.
Let’s be clear. When we talk about stress or anxiety disorders, solutions take time to show results. There are no quick fixes or strategies that work right away in two minutes.
For starters, the human brain works differently when it is subject to this psychological reality. All brain structures are imbued with norepinephrine and cortisol, two hormones that cloud our thoughts and only make us consider two responses: avoidance and flight.
The cerebral amygdala and the hippocampus take absolute control. An anxious person is therefore overcome by fear and has the feeling of being surrounded by threats.
In addition, and if that were not enough, our body is also subject to countless effects: tachycardia, sweating, abdominal pain, muscle tension… Knowing all this, how could we help a person with anxiety by simply telling them “ to calm down ” ?
It does not matter our good intention or our tact. Sometimes such words only widen the gap that keeps us away from that person. So let’s take a look at some strategies that can guide us in helping someone with anxiety.
1. Become aware of the personal reality of the other person
Living with someone who suffers from anxiety is not easy. His mood changes, his motivation fades and his messages and attitudes suddenly turn very negative. A certain hypersensitivity is added to this. She jumps at the slightest opportunity, she has trouble concentrating, is confused and even in a bad mood.
If we let his emotions permeate us, we won’t gain anything. If we give up and act defensively in the face of each of its symptoms, we will further intensify the anxiety and create a heavy and oppressive climate.
A loved one is going through a difficult time. She suffers from anxiety and therefore we need to be more sensitive and understand a number of things.
- We can google what anxiety is. However, what we can read does not always correspond to what this close person is experiencing.
- To begin with, you should know that there are many types of anxiety : panic disorders, generalized anxiety, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorders …
- It is advisable to start by seeking professional help. It is only from the moment the diagnosis is made that one can understand what is going on.
2. Monitor the mode of communication
When it comes to helping an anxious person, some do not hesitate to say the usual phrases: “ change your attitude”, “get a grip on yourself”, “it’s always the same with you, there are people who have worse problems than you ”, etc.
These kinds of phrases are akin to a B52 bombarding the self-esteem of anyone prone to anxiety. Indeed, a person going through this pass doesn’t care that others are going through an even more difficult time. She doesn’t care about world hunger or wars. She can only see her own (and suffocating) inner reality.
This should be the style of communication we should apply:
- Demonstrate unconditional support : “ When you need me, I am there for you. I support you and I love you. I am with you no matter what ”
- Do not judge: the anxious person has not tried to be in this situation and does not want to stay there
- Normalize the situation: Suffering from an anxiety disorder is not a stigma. It is a disease to be faced, treated and managed. We shouldn’t hesitate to talk about it
3. Be patient, don’t apply pressure or expect quick results.
Often when we want to help someone with anxiety, we don’t hesitate to buy books, search the Internet for information. Thus, and with all the good faith in the world, we do not hesitate to give advice to the person in question. We suggest breathing techniques, mindfulness, sport, yoga …
However, when we come up with these suggestions, we expect the other person to apply them and see immediate results. However, that doesn’t really happen. Because living in anxiety is sometimes wishing to spend the afternoon in bed in the dark and in silence. Such an attitude can frustrate those around you.
There is also another aspect to understand; the recovery process depends on the subject himself, and his progress is made in small steps.
Therefore, in such cases it is necessary to practice empathy and be patient. Don’t expect the person with anxiety to comply with every suggestion you make. What she needs most is our understanding and closeness. Without pressure.
4. Provide positive support and opt for specialized support
We do not always have the specialized clinical training to enable us to respond effectively to this type of problem. So here are some tips to help someone with anxiety:
- Encourage the anxious person to consult a professional
- Realize that she needs a diagnosis and a therapeutic strategy
- Convince her to follow the expert’s instructions: go to therapy, take medication if necessary, eat well … To do this, we will ensure, without putting pressure, that all this is well respected and applied
Finally, when it comes to mental health issues, we are not all experts. Sometimes, even, by acting in the most subtle way possible, we end up eliciting an unfavorable response. The one we least wanted to arouse.
To help someone with anxiety, we need to normalize the situation and bring in the professionals. Only then will we be able to act and communicate in a safer way, with relevant words and giving sound advice. Likewise, sharing with her each advance and each victory implies a stimulating reinforcement allowing to perceive the progress and to regulate effectively each new behavior, each new mental perception.
Our thoughts There are people who shy away from emotional involvement in relationships, it is Houdini syndrome. Find out more in this article.
