It Doesn’t Matter If You Can’t Stand Up Yet: Take Your Time
Don’t worry if you can’t handle everything, it doesn’t matter if you can’t stand up yet: take your time. Remember that broken people have pieces of life that can be infected and that all of this can hurt while walking, breathing and even thinking… Rest, start this grieving process, accept your wounds because, little by little, you will feel how much your body is lighter and your mind stronger …
Albert Ellis said that one of the automatisms that we put in motion whenever we suffer from a disappointment, a loss or a traumatic fact is to make guilt. What is more, what we do most frequently is to project a certain “contempt” on ourselves because of our inability to deal with everything, to find the sufficient motivation to get up every morning or the courage to face certain situations. and circumstances.
It’s like we want to go for a run after we have sprained ourselves. We get angry because we are in pain and because we cannot go as fast as we would like. We forget that this foot is injured, that it must be treated, that we need rest, treatment and, above all, to realize that we will not be able to walk or run for a while …
Take your time but put it to good use
Take your time, all the time you need and not the time others recommend. Because each person has their own rhythm, each person needs their own standards, their own strategies, their internal awakenings and these external aids to work on a daily basis. Understanding this point is essential because today, whether we like it or not, we embrace certain misconceptions that prevent us from bringing to life a genuine healing process.
As we are told in an interesting work published in the journal “Perspectives on Psychological Sciencie”, in recent years the idea that people are resilient by nature has become popular. We are often told that time heals everything, that we just have to let our brain act, gradually letting this inner force emerge which allows everything to dissolve, which allows everything to be overcome.
It is a mistake. Time, in itself, does not heal anything. We also don’t have an autopilot capable of activating to guide us on the path to resilience. Thus, researchers on this theme tell us that assuming this type of idea places us on a scene of authentic psychological passivity and makes us immerse in an irremediable way in quicksand, in which we await a healing that never happens. .
Ideas We Must Stop Believing About Psychological Healing
Popular psychology, as well as certain spiritual fields, often germinate in us erroneous beliefs far removed from what researchers actually tell us. Coming to terms with many of these concepts can slow down our psychological healing, so there are a few of these false myths that need to be kept in mind. Here they are.
- Time heals everything (false) ⇔ What we do heals us.
- All grief lasts three months (false) ⇔ Each person needs time to cope with a loss or emotional breakdown.
- Strong people can handle everything (false) ⇔ What do we mean by strong people? Labeling a person as “strong” can make them feel better as quickly as possible, and this is dangerous.
- We are all resilient (false) ⇔ Resilience can be worked on, developed, refined and individualized on the basis of our characteristics and needs. It is not a spontaneous awakening, it is an art that we must learn and practice on a daily basis, not just when we need it.
Take your time to hibernate, take your time to heal
We were saying this at the start taking Albert Ellis as a reference: we always get angry with ourselves because we don’t heal quickly, because we don’t go as fast as we would like, because we can’t be as we usually are. If this is the case, it is because we live in a world where we are urged to always be well, to always be functional, to sell an image of pristine and stunning happiness.
However, life doesn’t come with Instagram filters; we cannot improve our mood with a “click”. Such a task requires time, work and, above all, real intention. Here are two simple strategies to achieve this.
- Take your time to hibernate. It is not a question of sleeping and isolating oneself but of applying one of the advantages of this physiological process which animals which hibernate put into practice: to conserve their energy. If your body can’t take it anymore, if your mind is exhausted, rest, stop putting others first, put aside external noise to take care of your internal needs.
- Take your time to heal. The one you need and not the one others tell you. Understand that healing is not a journey with an end date and an arrival date: it is a process, a path without facilities where we must not look at the landscape or what surrounds us: the gaze is located in being itself.
Last but not least, we cannot forget that during this healing process it is good not to forego companionship; you have to choose good travel companions. Choosing a good professional to guide us through this process will make it easier and help us understand that before we start free running again, we have to learn to walk again.
Achieving it is possible. It will take time, but we will achieve this goal.
Our thoughts Healing emotional wounds does not mean forgetting, it means above all getting them to stop controlling our lives. This requires …
