The Opportunity To Learn From Our Mistakes Comes From Recognizing Them

Confucius said that “to make a mistake and not correct it is another mistake.” By following this reasoning, is it certain that we stop learning from our mistakes by denying them? In fact, is denying a mistake the first obstacle to repairing the consequences of the mistake we have made?

In the end, when we say the famous phrase “It is not me”, which in many cases implies a clear denial of our probable responsibility, are we not really trying to justify a mistake? ? Isn’t justifying yourself a way of acknowledging that something has been done wrong? At the end of the day, wouldn’t we be facing denial?

What follows rejecting an error?

In fact, by being unable to “mea culpa” for our mistakes, we often try to distance ourselves between what happened and the consequences associated with it. On the other hand, it is nonetheless true that this same distance makes it difficult to learn from what has happened. It thus removes the possibility of reviewing the process and identifying its flaws.

On the other hand, this distance can also give way to what at first glance will be seen as a relief. Relief that will turn into anxiety if we have to face the same issue; when we pull out our hair because we realize that we have not made enough efforts to remedy our shortcomings.

For example, if the department of the company in which we work has to communicate with a country speaking a language different from ours and that as managers we do not assume the fact that a person (or ourselves) must be willing to make such communication; We will hardly take the situation as our responsibility, communication will be difficult on this occasion, and it will be difficult on subsequent occasions.

In addition to blocking us for the future, renouncing the duty to explore our mistakes, by not acknowledging them, is an attitude that presumes an obstacle to self-knowledge. By forgoing this process, we are also relinquishing our acceptance of our responsibility for the successes that have taken place, thereby ignoring our most remarkable abilities and avoiding improving them.

Cases in which denial does not allow us to learn from our mistakes

At this point, it is worth recalling a study conducted as a team by researchers from the universities of California and New York. In it, it was revealed that not taking responsibility for our own mistakes has to do with our personality, and makes our capacity for growth more difficult to harness.

To arrive at these conclusions, the researchers analyzed dozens of profiles. It was actually a question of identifying the types of dominant personalities according to the reactions that the individuals adopted in front of the errors.

In the end, the study produced rather curious results. Within these groups of individuals, it was estimated that 70% of the population could be perfectly categorized into three large groups based on their reactions to the error:

It’s the other person’s fault

A very common phrase among children, the classic “it’s not me”, is still widely used by a large number of adults. In fact, by making a mistake, they decide to shirk their responsibility and attribute it to someone else.

By accusing others of their own mistakes, they are in a way denying them. Thus, by not having the maturity to recognize their mistakes, they also do not demonstrate maturity in their own inner qualitative knowledge. They tend to resort to attitudes aimed at victimizing them, by being unable to take responsibility for their faults, and without any constructive approach to the event.

Here nothing happened

Another type includes people who certainly do not blame others, but who see no error. In fact, even if the evidence is there, they are unable to see that they are at fault for something.

So this group of people will refuse to face all these things that could have been done wrong. They are not directly able to deal with guilt, since they do not see it. For them, it is in fact impossible to learn from something that does not exist, or that they are not directly willing to recognize.

Assume a responsibility that goes beyond what corresponds to it

Learning from our mistakes requires accepting failure and saying phrases like “the responsibility is mine.” Fortunately, a good part of the population is able to recognize their mistakes, so they are willing to correct, fix and improve them.

Nevertheless, we have to be careful, because sometimes we find ourselves facing people who have an attitude located in the other extreme, taking both their responsibility and that of others. However, the amount of resources to repair errors is large. The sanction that these people impose on themselves for the errors they attribute to themselves, being proportional to this attribution, can also be very heavy.

“Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. “

-Oscar Wilde-

However, to err is human. But learning from mistakes once made, rather than denying them, is too. In fact, it’s a great opportunity to improve and get to know each other better. This does not mean that you have to get lost all day, but that if the opportunity arises, it should not be wasted by fiercely denying it.