The Worst Thing Is That They Should Have Known
Netflix recently released a series that generated enormous controversy. This is the series called “For 13 Reasons”. It is based on a book written by Jay Asher, but we know that literature rarely raises passions as much as audiovisual content. So it was the episodes of this series that raised the controversy. The story takes place in the United States, in an institute. It begins when, one morning, a teenager comes across a shoebox containing seven recorded cassettes. What is being told in this story fits our title very well: they should have known .
These seven tapes preserve thirteen reasons why one of his classmates had committed suicide. An undeniably original argument, not for the decision of his comrade who unfortunately is more common in adolescents than that we like, but given a u p anointed view and history of the building. This is a tough story when it comes to describing how a person’s suffering can, like an iceberg, be completely submerged, hidden from the eyes of those who can help.
Look inside
Outside of fiction, it is not uncommon to come across one of the most tragic events in the news section. A teenager has made the decision to kill himself so as not to have to face a suffering he is unable to handle. This is the ultimate gesture, giving up life when he is old enough to eat it to the fullest. While he should have started to accumulate experiences, he already has to endure too much pain.
A suffering that often tends to obscure those who generate it, but also those who suffer from it. They don’t want to worry. They don’t want to appear weak in the eyes of those around them. They prefer to scream in silence and fear that someone might listen to them because they don’t know, because they are afraid that even this situation – which they cannot stand – could get worse.
In many other cases, when they dare to tell adults about it, they receive responses that tend to normalize what is happening to them. “These are children’s behaviors”, “You’ve certainly hit it before”. Some parents even go so far as to say to their children: “Is it because you can’t defend yourself?”. Other parents directly choose to change their institution, believing that leaving the abusers behind the problem is solved. They do not take into account the fact that their child’s experiences, their memory, can therefore become the problem. Perhaps this is just the beginning of they should have known.
Indeed, the problem with aggression, abuse or harassment is often not its direct effect but what it leaves behind. A feeling for the victim that the world is out of control, that there are threats that are far beyond their resources, that they have something that they are mocked or mocked at, or that they have little or no of value to his peers. This feeling becomes disproportionate when the parents are away. So that to the previous thoughts is added that of “disappearing and not affecting anyone”.
Many justify themselves through ignorance, when they should have known
Parents of abusers usually don’t know what’s really going on either. They do not conceive that their child, the one they love, can cause suffering. They still possess the image of innocent childhood, while children can turn out to be more evil than the worst of adults.
People who think so seldom ask this comrade that they have abused and humiliated how he is experienced it. Neither did those who laughed at it. So it’s as if what happened in childhood should stay in childhood. As if these abused people no longer felt cold sweats when they remembered one of these episodes. It’s about the bitter leftovers we talked about before, those still silenced voices, the apologies that weren’t made.
In this sense, the abusive parents of abusive children are the most likely to normalize his behaviors. To some extent, condemnation of their behavior is also condemnation of their own. And taking this step is not easy. Regardless, when news like this is released, there is often and unfortunately not much we can do for the victim. That’s when many of those involved say they didn’t know, as if that might take some of their responsibility away. In this sense, the worst part is that they did not know it, when they should have known it.
Our thoughts Bullying has unfortunately become more and more frequent. How to know if your child is victim of it and how to help him?
