What A Pity That Changes Occur When They Are No Longer Needed
It’s a shame that changes happen when they are no longer needed, neither for what they provide, nor for what they are supposed to be able to remedy. A real loss of energy for those who one day claimed them but who never obtained them and for those who saw them appear when their validity had already lapsed.
All changes are welcome if they are positive, but sometimes they are only positive if they happen on time. Some occur years late, others have missed their chance to fix something by arriving a few thousandths of a second too late. Some only seemingly heal, and some others need to be occurring regularly for one to guess what they are.
What a pity that a change happens when the person who was waiting for it got bored and turned the page. When feelings, previously incessant and impatient, are now frozen, nonexistent and surrounded by ashes that will never be set on fire again, proving their extinction.
The late changes are indeed the most heartbreaking; they are tangible proof of what could have been and what was not.
They assume the certainty of the harsh reality that one day one wanted to put in suspense, surrounded by magic and mystery, when perhaps there was a lack of enthusiasm and a lack of interest. A detachment which humans use as a protection strategy, but which in the long run makes us more fragile.
There are changes that should never be expected, because they indicate that there is not a good place to start. Whether it’s because you accept the situation as it is, in hope and without haste, or because a good starting situation has turned into something you never wanted.
We expect reactions, changes, commitments from people who perhaps never thought to achieve or establish them. No one has the right to ask for a change that the other does not want to achieve, which is why we cannot know if we are locked in confused messages from others.
We do not have the right to demand, but we do have the right to refuse to be played with us. The real change in this situation would be to start respecting ourselves and the values that we seek in a relationship. We must identify what was our error: it may have been given by too high expectations, which does not detract from the fact that we have failed and that we are doing an exercise of justice by pointing out this error.
Faced with deep disenchantment, some prefer to assume and change rhythm in solitude and assume the suffering of loss or deception for the time it takes, without making it last longer than necessary. Others get stuck in the situation, waiting for changes that don’t come, anguished by promises that don’t come true, desiring, asking, demanding without finding an answer.
Others change their pace and situation, but grieving for what is lost does not go through their minds. The final point is there, but they refuse to apply this emotional spelling rule. A rule which is respected at the beginning with pain and sorrow, but which over time produces blank pages, leaving written those of the past in the only possible way.
The blandness of change that is no longer needed is the first step towards emotional freedom. It is not a pleasant step. One might feel liberated, comforted to be aware that the other party has reacted, albeit late.
But what good is it if the changes happen when the passion has dried up, when the words of love or friendship describe us as a little foreign to our heart? When change no longer produces a thaw, but an icy and indifferent response? When change does not awaken tears of hope, but emotional weakness and coldness?
Late comes what one day could have been, but which can no longer be; without the possibility of arising again. This is why we have to fight for what matters to us before there is an endless series of excuses and second chances.
It must be done because the moment may arrive when the person who was waiting for these changes no longer looks at them, no longer considers them as something that fits with his current life. We must change in time, especially if we want to avoid seeing these changes occur when they have squandered all their effect.
Late changes are obsolete changes, which belong to a desert terrain from which the healthy madness and passion of yesteryear will no longer arise. It is not possible, it is no longer necessary. These are changes that stay at the station and watch the train go by, as night falls in a remote village. Hope grew weary and gone, along with all the magic and innocence that longing held.
